Dreams of Life

Home again

Okay, so here I am back on my Father's computer sitting in the large living room upstairs in my house in my hometown of Moose Jaw Saskatchewan. It's a sad thing. I miss Eston and FGBC so much even though at the beginning of the year I didn't want to leave here and I was at the point when I didn't want to leave there. I did cry a lot, I'll tell you that much and it was only my first year, I wonder if next year I will cry more or less. Who knows? Only time witll tell.

Anyway, I don't have much to say I just felt the need to update my blog. I have a lot on my mind right now, a lot I wish would go away so I could just be in peace... so would you just pray for me? Pray that all goes well?

Thank you.
Love and miss you all at FGBC
Kim

posted by Gavers @ 5:51 p.m. 1 Comments

Poems - part 1

Okay.... coming up sometime soon is a whole bunch of poems that I have written over the years. I don't' know how well they are done, however, I will write them in here anyway and would greatly enjoy any feedback that people would give to them. I don't have them at the moment... however, theses are ones beginning a couple of years ago, I hope I have gotten better over the past while, but then again, you never know.

Okay.... I honestly can't find that website anymore and it's honestly frustrating me.... I remember going to it because on fanfcition.net they told me that is where to go to post origional work and I can't find anywhere...... ahhhhhhhh!

posted by Gavers @ 5:34 p.m. 1 Comments

God Bless Everyone who is Leaving FGBC! We will miss you!

Well, the school year is almost over. It is Friday of grad weekend and everyone will be leaving by Sunday afternoon, and then it's goodbye to some of them for the summer, some of them for a week or two, some of them for a couple years and still some of them forever. This is sad. A very sad time for me anyway. In two days I will be gone from this place and I will never be able to relive the memories of my first year in bible school. I'm returning next yeaar, however it will not be the same. We will be in our second year and then there will be a whole bunch of first years where it will seem like we should be in their place. Almost like we don't belong as second years. there still should be a huge group of us that is in our first year. It's like I don't want things to change. And it's true. I don't want things to change. I will be teary eyed on Sunday, I am almost sure of it. Tis sad, very sad. Anyway, I should go back to packing *sigh* the room that has been my room for the past eight months will be my room no longer. I will come back next year, but that will not be my room. It will be the room of one of my peers and possibly one I have never met before. But I will not be sad. I will not be, I should be in joy, for the new challenges that lay ahead of me this next year.

God bless everyone who is leaving FGBC, do not look on your time here with sadness, but look on it with joy and cherish the memories you have shared here. For we will all see each other agan, possibly not here on earth, but in heaven with Jesus.

I will miss each and everyone of you.

God bless

Kimberly Anne Gavronsky

posted by Gavers @ 3:14 p.m. 1 Comments

Green Eggs and Ham

We had green eggs and ham for a floor meeting about a week ago... it was good and I just remembered about it now so I thought I would put it in my blog.... lol. Anyway, you know what time I waas awake this morning? 6:40 am. I'm never up that early. And why was I up that early? Because my brain decided it wanted to get up without consulting the rest of my body. Oh well. I'm sure I will survive this horrible ordeal that is my life... just kidding. My life isn't bad. I love my life. I have amazing friends, a loving family, and Jesus. What more could a girl ask for? My mind is such a muddled mess right now.... I don't know how to figure it all out. The dreams I had when I came here and the dreams I have now do not necessarily correspond with each other anymore. I wanted to be a police officer before I came to bible school but now I am just not sure anymore. It's a frustrating feeling. I'll just keep praying though and I know that God will show me down the path that he wants me to do. I must admit before coming to bible college, I never really paid that much attention to what God wanted me to do. But now I have learnt how important it is to me to have a relationship with my heavenly Father, so I know how important it is now to obey his commands.
Anyway, I have some stuff I have to go do.
Bye bye.

posted by Gavers @ 11:28 a.m. 0 Comments

Pride and Prejudice!

Okay, so I wrote the first sentance and then I wrote the rest of the post and noticed it was not like the girly post I expected it to be so you can just disregard the next sentance. You can still read it though if you really must. Okay, so just to warn you before hand so you can't tell me I didn't, this is most likely going to be a girly post. I just finished watching the new Pride and Prejudice movie with Kiera Knightly and it was an amazing movie. It's a chick flick and I love chick flicks. It was absurd that Mr. Collins would think Elizabeth would marry him. While, to be put quite frankly, I don't like Mr. collins. He kind of creeped me out. I have not much else to say except I incredibly liked the movie, and that Elizabeth Bennet and Mr. Darcy ended up getting married was quite a good ending for the story. I guess this post was not as much as a girly post as I expected it to be. Oh well, I just had to get that out of my system. I adore that movie so much. If your looking for a chick flick and you haven't seen it yet... you need to see it. Thank you. lol.
What's the matter with me?

posted by Gavers @ 9:36 p.m. 0 Comments

Another Year Gone...

Well, another school year is officially almost over. Soon it will be the end and half of these people I will probably never see again. But I shouldn't think of it as the end, though departing from one another is sad and creates tears in my eyes, I amaze at how much I have become closer to God over this past year. I will sherish the memories I have been a part of for as long as I live, and I will not look back on it with regret, but with joy. I was rejoice for those who met God this past year, I will rejoice for those who grew in relationship with him and I will be glad and cherish the forever friends I have made here. The end of this year of Bible college is a beginnin of our life ahead of us, a beginning of living for God in a secular world that doesn't know him. I look back on this past year and I admire those who have grown in love this year. I thank God that this is a year at FGBC that will not be quickly forgotten, but the fond memories will remain in my heart for life. This chapter of my life is not yet closed however. Comeing back next year will be meaning, new friends, old friends and a continuing relationship with my heavenly Father. But when my time at FGBC is over, when this chapter of my life is over, I know their will be tears. How could there not be? But again there will be rejoicing as I know that no matter how far we get from each other, that we are brothers and sisters and we will see each other again. We will all spend everlasting time with each other and Jesus in heaven. There will be rejoicing that no matter what I do wrong, how far I get from God, He is always there, with his arms wide open, waiting for me to enter into his loving embrace once again. I will beleve that till the end of time, for I know that it is true. My relationship with God has grown greatly in the ast year, however it is far from perfect. It will never be perfect, but I don't care. All I want is to know my heavenly Father more and more. He gives me my hope and my motivation. He is always there to give me a hug whenever I need it. I could never have done it without him. Jesus saved my life, he gave me a reason to live and far beyond that he gave me himself. He DIED for me. The least I can do is give him my life. And I give him that, my life is devoted to him. There is no looking back, I have stepped over the line, I won't let up, give up, back up or shut up. My focus is clear, my path straight, my God reliable, I'm a disciple of Christ. (8) I'm giving you my heart and all that is within, I lay it all down for the sake of you my king. Im giving you my dreams, I'm laying down my rights, I'm giving up my pride for the promise of new life. And I surrender all to you, all to you. And I surrender all to you, all to you. (8)
This place over the past 8 months has become home to me, and now that I am leaving, it is still home to me for the next year but after that it will be little more then a happy memory and a place you visit from time to time. It is home for a couple of years and then its not, and again it brings tears to my eyes just thinking about it. However, I will love this place and always remember the friendships that were formed here and memories we have shared.

posted by Gavers @ 10:22 a.m. 0 Comments

Motivation

I was talking to my best friend today and what were we talking about? Motivation. What motivates people? Why can't she seem to get motivated over anything? What's my motivation? Why do I want to do good in school? Why do I want to have good friends? I want approval.
Some people are motivated by people.
Some people are motivated by love.
Some people are motivated by money.
Some people are motivated by a sense of accomplishment.
Some people are motivated by hate.
Some people are motivated by dreams.
Some people are motivated by wanting to life there life to the fullest.
Some people are motivated because they want people to know they care.
Some people are motivated by approval.
And then there are people like me - I am motivate by God and my love for my Lord and SAvior Jesus Christ and want approval from those who love, especially my best friend Megan and my parents. And of course, I want lto be doing what God wants me to do.
But what if you life is constantly full of people who seem to not care about you? People who provide food, shelter, and clothing,and its not like they beat you or yell at you all the time but they just dn't seem to care about your well-being at all? They don't ask you how your day was, or they don't try to talk to you about how your schoolwork is going. They couldn't care less it sems almost as if you woere dead or alive? What would motivate you then? And your friends that don't sem to care... they aren't really friends at all.
She sees Christianity as a religion, something that consists of going to church on Sudnay and not the relationship involved... I wish there weas some way to convey to her that it's about the relationship and not just the importance of church. tIt's good to have Christian friends and go to church but it's not about the church. It's about a relationship with God and Jesus.
Here is our conversatin.

Kim - When you say you love me for a moment there's noone else alive. says:
Hey Nicole
Kim - When you say you love me for a moment there's noone else alive. says:
how goes it?
NightmareForbiden promise says:
hi
NightmareForbiden promise says:
and good
Kim - When you say you love me for a moment there's noone else alive. says:
that's good... how's Megan?
NightmareForbiden promise says:
she is good
Kim - When you say you love me for a moment there's noone else alive. says:
that's good
Kim - When you say you love me for a moment there's noone else alive. says:
is she home?
NightmareForbiden promise says:
yea
Kim - When you say you love me for a moment there's noone else alive. says:
doot doot... can I talk to her for a moment?
NightmareForbiden promise says:
she is playing kingdom hearts 2
NightmareForbiden promise says:
anyways here she is
Kim - When you say you love me for a moment there's noone else alive. says:
while tel her I don't care what she's doing
Kim - When you say you love me for a moment there's noone else alive. says:
good
Kim - When you say you love me for a moment there's noone else alive. says:
hello Megan
NightmareForbiden promise says:
hi
Kim - When you say you love me for a moment there's noone else alive. says:
Kingdom hearts 2 huh?
Kim - When you say you love me for a moment there's noone else alive. says:
I didn't know you had the second one
NightmareForbiden promise says:
Just got it this weekend
Kim - When you say you love me for a moment there's noone else alive. says:
figures
Kim - When you say you love me for a moment there's noone else alive. says:
.... you and your video games
NightmareForbiden promise says:
Yup
NightmareForbiden promise says:
I'm obessed over them
Kim - When you say you love me for a moment there's noone else alive. says:
apparently so.... so did you know I'm home in less then two weeks?
NightmareForbiden promise says:
No. you'll be coming over here then right?
Kim - When you say you love me for a moment there's noone else alive. says:
I hope so... I mean, school is done in two weeks and I'm home for good
Kim - When you say you love me for a moment there's noone else alive. says:
while for the summer anyway
NightmareForbiden promise says:
Lucky
Kim - When you say you love me for a moment there's noone else alive. says:
yeah
Kim - When you say you love me for a moment there's noone else alive. says:
I guess
NightmareForbiden promise says:
^-^ I still gotta be in school till the end of june
Kim - When you say you love me for a moment there's noone else alive. says:
I have signed everyone's yearbook in the school - literly everyone's
Kim - When you say you love me for a moment there's noone else alive. says:
I know but wait til you go to college
NightmareForbiden promise says:
lol
Kim - When you say you love me for a moment there's noone else alive. says:
then you will get to be off at April
Kim - When you say you love me for a moment there's noone else alive. says:
....
NightmareForbiden promise says:
I don't think I'm going to college.
NightmareForbiden promise says:
It's right out of high school and a job with me
Kim - When you say you love me for a moment there's noone else alive. says:
I hope to get a job in Moose Jaw this summer.... or maybe in Regina... cause maybe my aunt will let me live with them if I can find a job in REgina
Kim - When you say you love me for a moment there's noone else alive. says:
I think you should go to college
NightmareForbiden promise says:
Cool
Kim - When you say you love me for a moment there's noone else alive. says:
I think it would be good for you
NightmareForbiden promise says:
I wouldn't be able too
NightmareForbiden promise says:
I'm no good at school
NightmareForbiden promise says:
Kim - When you say you love me for a moment there's noone else alive. says:
so.... neither was I until I actually started trying in grade 12
Kim - When you say you love me for a moment there's noone else alive. says:
then I found I wasn't that bad at it
Kim - When you say you love me for a moment there's noone else alive. says:
I actually did my homewok
Kim - When you say you love me for a moment there's noone else alive. says:
that makes a lot of difference
NightmareForbiden promise says:
While I'm trying, but I have issues getting motivated. I think somethings missing in my life. I can't seem to concentrate at school
NightmareForbiden promise says:
Maybe I need a true socail life ne?
Kim - When you say you love me for a moment there's noone else alive. says:
maybe... I don't know... I don't think it's that
NightmareForbiden promise says:
Something wrong with my brain anyway... >.<
NightmareForbiden promise says:
I dono
NightmareForbiden promise says:
I've been a little too confused or something like that.
Kim - When you say you love me for a moment there's noone else alive. says:
you need something you think is worth it... you need to be doing it for someone... not just yourself... your parents don't seem to care.... I have someone I'm doing this for and that person is God..... I'm doing this for God... find someone who you want admiration from and draw motivation off of making them proud - even though I already am proud of you
Kim - When you say you love me for a moment there's noone else alive. says:
that's what i think....
Kim - When you say you love me for a moment there's noone else alive. says:
I dunno
NightmareForbiden promise says:
Well... I don't really have anyone like that. (besides maybe you) I don't really need people to think highly of me
NightmareForbiden promise says:
I've never really been a true people person
Kim - When you say you love me for a moment there's noone else alive. says:
i know that....
NightmareForbiden promise says:
School isn't much of a concern to me. I think that's my problem. I just don't care about school.
NightmareForbiden promise says:
All my focus is on my books
NightmareForbiden promise says:
I think I need to get my priorities straightened out.
Kim - When you say you love me for a moment there's noone else alive. says:
yeah, I think so.... now i'm not trying to be mean but I'm being completely honest in asking this question.... what exactly is your chance of getting your books published? I'm not trying to diminsh your hopes, but honestly it's one of the hardest things to do these days is to get your books published
NightmareForbiden promise says:
I know. I never said it would be easy. If following your dreams was that easy. Everyone would be happy.
NightmareForbiden promise says:
But It's my only hope.
NightmareForbiden promise says:
My art, and my writing is all I have
Kim - When you say you love me for a moment there's noone else alive. says:
that' snot true
Kim - When you say you love me for a moment there's noone else alive. says:
that's not all you have
NightmareForbiden promise says:
I can do other things, sure. But my heart isn't in it.
NightmareForbiden promise says:
I'm failing half my classes right now, because I just don't feel like it.
NightmareForbiden promise says:
*sighs*
Kim - When you say you love me for a moment there's noone else alive. says:
While you have to start "feeling like it" it's almost as if your whole life revolves around video games, movies, art and writing and that's not right.... you need constant interaction with people - people who you care about and who care about you... you need to feel loved and wanted
NightmareForbiden promise says:
I got nobody like that here
NightmareForbiden promise says:
My parents are my parents. I don't need them, not really. I need friends. but. They don't really care, the ones here anyway.
NightmareForbiden promise says:
If I were to leave and never come back, they'd miss me for a few days then go back to being their normal selves, back to what they did before they met me.
Kim - When you say you love me for a moment there's noone else alive. says:
I don't think that's true
Kim - When you say you love me for a moment there's noone else alive. says:
I don't believe that for a second
Kim - When you say you love me for a moment there's noone else alive. says:
and do you want to know why?
NightmareForbiden promise says:
....
Kim - When you say you love me for a moment there's noone else alive. says:
Look at Paige for example..... look at her.... she never comes back but her mom talks to her on the phone all the time and you even go and visit her.... don't you think that's how it would be with you?
NightmareForbiden promise says:
They, pretty much ignore me now. Unless I have something of intrest. Debie and Amber don't really care too much about me.
Kim - When you say you love me for a moment there's noone else alive. says:
I think so.... I think deep down they really do care about you or why would they keep you in the first place?
Kim - When you say you love me for a moment there's noone else alive. says:
You can go to any hospital in the country and just drop of a baby no questions asked.
NightmareForbiden promise says:
But that's family. I know they love me. But they,... I don't need family. Family is just family.
NightmareForbiden promise says:
I need friends that care about me. That actually TRY to come over ever now and then.
Kim - When you say you love me for a moment there's noone else alive. says:
they loved you when you were a baby and probably dreamed about all the potential that you had, and now maybe deep inside them they are wondering what happend to that potential, what happened to the little girl they thought would grow up to be amazing. What if they are just disappointed in you and don't know how else to show it?
Kim - When you say you love me for a moment there's noone else alive. says:
while Im sorry
Kim - When you say you love me for a moment there's noone else alive. says:
your family is important
Kim - When you say you love me for a moment there's noone else alive. says:
no matter how much you don't think so
Kim - When you say you love me for a moment there's noone else alive. says:
you would't be alive without your parents
NightmareForbiden promise says:
Not to me. Maybe I'll miss them. But I know I can live with out them. I'm greatful to them for everthing they've done, sacriviced for my sake. but it's not enough.
NightmareForbiden promise says:
I need...... something else
NightmareForbiden promise says:
I........
NightmareForbiden promise says:
I don't know.........
NightmareForbiden promise says:
........
NightmareForbiden promise says:
I'm so confused! ........
Kim - When you say you love me for a moment there's noone else alive. says:
need something else? it feels like there is a hole in your life that you can't fill?
NightmareForbiden promise says:
Well. I gtg soon. My sisters hovering over me wanting on.
NightmareForbiden promise says:
Yeah
Kim - When you say you love me for a moment there's noone else alive. says:
so what?
Kim - When you say you love me for a moment there's noone else alive. says:
who cares?
NightmareForbiden promise says:
That's 'bout it
NightmareForbiden promise says:
I dno
NightmareForbiden promise says:
My sis is annoying.
Kim - When you say you love me for a moment there's noone else alive. says:
a hole that you can't fill?
NightmareForbiden promise says:
Yeah
Kim - When you say you love me for a moment there's noone else alive. says:
tell her its important
Kim - When you say you love me for a moment there's noone else alive. says:
that's what I felt too
NightmareForbiden promise says:
There's something missing
NightmareForbiden promise says:
yeah
Kim - When you say you love me for a moment there's noone else alive. says:
I used to feel that
Kim - When you say you love me for a moment there's noone else alive. says:
bu then I found something that filled the hole
NightmareForbiden promise says:
Yeah?
Kim - When you say you love me for a moment there's noone else alive. says:
put a picture on display please of you.... Jen wants to se your pic?
Kim - When you say you love me for a moment there's noone else alive. says:
Yeah
Kim - When you say you love me for a moment there's noone else alive. says:
I did
NightmareForbiden promise says:
I don't have a pic.
Kim - When you say you love me for a moment there's noone else alive. says:
okay
Kim - When you say you love me for a moment there's noone else alive. says:
I did find something that filled that hole for me
NightmareForbiden promise says:
That's cool...
Kim - When you say you love me for a moment there's noone else alive. says:
You want to know what filled the hole in my life Megan?
NightmareForbiden promise says:
Sure
Kim - When you say you love me for a moment there's noone else alive. says:
The day I found Jesus Christ made that hole go away.... it's not there anymore, it's filled with love and grace and peace, it makes me feel wanted and loved.... and appreciated
Kim - When you say you love me for a moment there's noone else alive. says:
Jesus did that for me
Kim - When you say you love me for a moment there's noone else alive. says:
and he can do that for you too
NightmareForbiden promise says:
But I'm not relgious.
I wanna go. Just get up and leave. See the country. See trees and mountians and lakes and.... I just wanna get out of this trap..... *stares at the ground*
Kim - When you say you love me for a moment there's noone else alive. says:
religion has nothing to do with it
NightmareForbiden promise says:
Still. I don't think that'll do it for me. I've been down that path, and sure it may be good in all but, I can't be tied down to having to go to church on sundays, or being active in church at all.
Kim - When you say you love me for a moment there's noone else alive. says:
you don't have to go to church on Sunday all the time... you don't have to be active in the churh.... I'm not. You don't have to be tied to a church... although Christian friends isn't a good idea, I'm telling you religion doesn't have anything to do with it... it's the relationship... the relationship with Jesus Christ that makes you a Christian, not going to church on Sunday
Kim - When you say you love me for a moment there's noone else alive. says:
Christian friends is a good idea
NightmareForbiden promise says:
Maybe. But I don't need that right now. I know I don't. I need someone here, now. Not a spirt. maybe later in life but not now. My heart is crying for someone to love. Someone who can hold me. I dno.....
Kim - When you say you love me for a moment there's noone else alive. says:
I still think that that's the way to go, that Jesus is the way and he will give you the love and hold you and he will always be there fore you.... I'm going to pray for you though... but I won't badger you about it
Kim - When you say you love me for a moment there's noone else alive. says:
its your choice, and I love you no matter what
NightmareForbiden promise says:
I know....
Kim - When you say you love me for a moment there's noone else alive. says:
Next year, I think you should come and stay with me for like a week
NightmareForbiden promise says:
That might be good.
Kim - When you say you love me for a moment there's noone else alive. says:
during a school break
Kim - When you say you love me for a moment there's noone else alive. says:
your school break
NightmareForbiden promise says:
yeah
Kim - When you say you love me for a moment there's noone else alive. says:
not miine, because they are at different times
Kim - When you say you love me for a moment there's noone else alive. says:
I know it will be good
NightmareForbiden promise says:
Yeah and I can't go missing school
Kim - When you say you love me for a moment there's noone else alive. says:
exactly, you can hang out and eat cafeteria food (which is not that bad) and come sit with me through classes and sleep lots
Kim - When you say you love me for a moment there's noone else alive. says:
and just get relaxed
NightmareForbiden promise says:
Yeah that'swhat I need. rest.
Kim - When you say you love me for a moment there's noone else alive. says:
uh-huh i think so, and that's why you are going to next year if I have to pay for it all myself
NightmareForbiden promise says:
Okay...
Kim - When you say you love me for a moment there's noone else alive. says:
no,I"m serious
Kim - When you say you love me for a moment there's noone else alive. says:
bus ticket, your food while your here and board
Kim - When you say you love me for a moment there's noone else alive. says:
I will
NightmareForbiden promise says:
Thank you.
NightmareForbiden promise says:
I hope I'll be able to come
Kim - When you say you love me for a moment there's noone else alive. says:
you WILL be able to come
NightmareForbiden promise says:
Yeah. *smiles*
Kim - When you say you love me for a moment there's noone else alive. says:
I will see to that
NightmareForbiden promise says:
yeah
Kim - When you say you love me for a moment there's noone else alive. says:
Somewhere over the rainbow
Kim - When you say you love me for a moment there's noone else alive. says:
way up high
Kim - When you say you love me for a moment there's noone else alive. says:
there's a land that I've heard of once in a lullaby
NightmareForbiden promise says:
My sister's badgering me again
NightmareForbiden promise says:
I should go.
Kim - When you say you love me for a moment there's noone else alive. says:
fine, if you must, but I'll talk to you soon, miss you and love you lots
NightmareForbiden promise says:
love ya too. byebye
Kim - When you say you love me for a moment there's noone else alive. says:
bye
Kim - When you say you love me for a moment there's noone else alive. says:
hey wait
Kim - When you say you love me for a moment there's noone else alive. says:
can I ask you something?
NightmareForbiden promise says:
yeah
NightmareForbiden promise says:
sure
Kim - When you say you love me for a moment there's noone else alive. says:
do you mind if I post this conversation on my blog? I thought I should ask first
Kim - When you say you love me for a moment there's noone else alive. says:
I won't if you don't want me to
NightmareForbiden promise says:
okay go ahead.
Kim - When you say you love me for a moment there's noone else alive. says:
thanx
NightmareForbiden promise says:
I'll talk to you later.
Kim - When you say you love me for a moment there's noone else alive. says:
okay
NightmareForbiden promise says:
byebye
Kim - When you say you love me for a moment there's noone else alive. says:
byebye

I don't know what to say? Did I say these things wrong? Were thes things I was supposed to say or was I supposed to leave them for a later time? I don't know, I love her so much... just so much and I wish I could fix herproblems for her... but I will try and lead her towards the Father... he can fix anything and I know that he loves her more then I could even imagine so I will just place my concerns and her in the hands of my heavenly Father.

Dear Lord Jesus, I pray for my best friend. I pray that you will give her the love and caring that she deserves so much but isn't gettin from her parents and siblings.... I pray that you will let her know that I am always there for her no matter what and that ou are as well. Thank you Jesus for giveing me her friendship. I love hser so much God.
I pray this in your name, Jesus
Amen

posted by Gavers @ 3:53 p.m. 1 Comments

Nothing of significance... really...

Hello ppls. Doot doot. Random stuff that's all this is... random stuff... or maybe as Megan says it "stoof" lol. Just buggin' you Megan. I don't know where all this weirdness that is going on in my brain is coming from... it's just sorta there... I don't understand why. But anyway.... I don't know for some odd reason, anyway, I don't really have time to write in here... I have some stuff I want and should be doing right now so I'll go. bye bye.

posted by Gavers @ 6:45 p.m. 0 Comments

Hello ppls

Hello ppls... how goes life? Mine goes pretty well, except that finals are in just over a week and we only have one week of classes left. Ahhhhhhh! Help. Just kidding, I'm sure I'll survive. Hopefully. Anyway, I really don't have that much to say but I thought I wanted to write in you anyways. I got another long letter from my best friend and it made me feel so special.

I bought a new dress today, but then again that's probably unimportant and whatnot. I bought it for grad at Hangers in K-town. (Kindersley, Saskatchewan for those who are confused, everyone here at the school calls Kindersley K-town, I don't know why... but it kinda stuck...)

A couple of Renee's friends are here this weekend and I hope she is having a good time with them. I want to go home next weekend but I know I probably won't be able to. I want to go home for the weekend but I also want to stay here because I will only have one week with these people after that. Only one week. It's so sad. anyway, I really dn't have anything else to write so I'm just going to be done for now. Bye bye.

posted by Gavers @ 11:25 a.m. 0 Comments

Nothing important

Haven't written in here for a couple days because I have been gone. I went to Arlington Beach and did a little babysitting and earned myself one hundred dollars. That was nice. I'm going to put it in the bank today. Anyway, I'm having a really good day so far, although I can't say that to well because it has just started but I am hopiing for a beautiful day anyway. I want a beautiful day.

Only one week left of classes and only two weeks left before I leave for home.... which reminds me I have to call my mom and get her to come and pick me up when school is over. It's kinda sad if you think about it. Half of these people you will never ever see again in your entire life.... maybe even more then half. My sister told me you would keep in contact with the ones that are really important, but it's still sad. It's kinda depressing actually. Everyone's excited for the end of the year, but again, I'm not sure if I am or if I'm not. It will be so weird coming back next year as a second year when there are all these first years that are filling the spots that you used to fill and not only that, but most of your classmates aren't returning so you won't necessarily get to hang out with the same people anymore. More friends next year but it's still kinda sad.

Anyway, I have class in less then ten minutes so I really should go.... I'll write in here soon.
bye.

posted by Gavers @ 10:36 a.m. 0 Comments

Reflections on life in general

Somedays, I just want to lie on my back and stare at the clouds and just imagine my life is perfect just the way it is. And sometimes, that is easy to do, sometimes you just love life and love everything that is going on in it and its so easy to just soak of the sun and smile. And then there are days when you can't because you feel so many things going wrong in your life and you can't understand or comprehend them and you wish with all your heart that you could but you know that you can't. It's crazy, and retarded. I had a beautiful day today, it consisted of laying out in the sunshine reading an Anne of Green Gables book. It was totally refreshing and totally an amazing day. Although I did get hit in the back of the head with a soccerball that was not so exciting. Anyway, it seems as if Jenn is looking a little down and I want to go and see what is the matter with her so.... bye.

posted by Gavers @ 5:22 p.m. 0 Comments

Weirdness Ensues!

Hi! I am having an interesting day today. First of all I'm laying in my bed, not planning on getting up for church, because honestly I didn't feel like getting up for church this morning and from the hallway I hear "Kimberly, Jesus is coming and if you don't go to church he is going to leave you behind," so I got up for church. Then I came and I ate lunch which was very good I must admit and then I came to the computer and to my suprise there was a really long email from my best friend. I dono't think she has every written that much in a letter in her entire life and I was happy that she entrusted these thoughts and feelings to me. Something she has never ever done before. I felt blessed to have a best friend such as her and I still do feel blessed to have her as my best friend.
Okay, I did Cassandra's gratis after lunch because she asked me too, and she went to Regina with Howie this weekend. I wish I could have gone with them... I want to see my best friend I miss her so much. Nothing interesting has happened today except if I don't find a gratis sub for this week while I am gone, I won't be going to Arlington beach which I must say would be a very sad prospect... but I'm sure I will survive. I hope I can find someone to do my gratis for me... I really really hope so.
Anyway, I don't know what else to say I don't feel the intense pull to write as much as I did yesterday and so I don't plan on doing so... I continued to write on my laptop after I finished updating this and I wrote so much that I even surprised myself. Oh well Anyway, I should go... I have gratis subs to find and books to read and life to live.
Even though... I feel so homesick and best friend sick today... I guess I will survive though, I mean what else can I do but survive? I can live life to the fullest. But sometimes you just don't feel like it and sometimes it is just so hard.

posted by Gavers @ 1:23 p.m. 0 Comments

Incoherant ramblings of a Bible College Student

Okay, so I know I haven't written in here for a very long time. While not a very long time, just under a month, and I feel horrible, because I like writing in this thing, I never really have the time. I don't know what to right about either. Maybe I'll write about how school is completely over and done with in three weeks and there is a high possibility that I won't see half of the people here ever again in my life. Maybe I'll write about how braindead my head is right now becasue I'm frustrated because I can't find a gratis sub for the three days I'm going to be gone. Or maybe I will just right whatever pops into my head and seems right for me to write. Does that make sense? I don't know.

I feel as if my life is going into an endless swirl of nothingness. I know God wants me at this school but for some reason I am having a hard time finding contentment. It seems I fight with Jenn almost everyday and I am always rushing to get my homework done last minute, and sometimes its not even done on time and it's just frustrating. I don't know, all my other friends seem to have friends everywhere and not just one little group. Then there is me who hang out with the exact same people every single day. Is that so wrong? How come sometimes I feel as if it is? And how come I am excited to go home at the end of the year but I want to stay here all at the same time? I want to be in two places at once and I wish that it were possible but I know that it is not. I don't understand myself sometimes.

Then there is Jenn and Alvin everything they do seems to be together and I feel a little lonely at times, thinking that I don't have someone special in my life to share important things with. I don't wish to be with someone though, I just feel incredibly lonely sometimes. And I still get homesick, I still get incredibly homesick sometimes, I just sit in my room and cry before I go to sleep, because I want to go home so bad. You miss so many things when you are away from home.

I missed my girls 8th birthday. Not my girl but a really good friend of mines girl and I hae watched her grow up for almost the past four years and now I can't watch her grow up anymore because I am not around there. It's kinda sad to miss important things like that. My best friend Beth is going through her very first heartache - I know it won't be the last but then I am not there to comfort her. My bestest bestest best friend Megan is getting a story she wrote published in the paper and I am not there to share in the joy with her.

There is so many things that go on in your home town that you miss when you are away. I miss not being there when my sister has her birthday. I miss not being there for a shoulder for my best friend to cry on when she is sick. I miss it all. I miss my mom, my dad, my sister... I even miss my brother and my cat although I would never say that out loud, especially to my brother because he would get so mad if I ever said something like that to him.

I have never written this much in a long time and I am quite enjoying it but I think my incoherant ramblings must soon come to an end.

I have been reading some grand books lately. They are called Harry Potter. I have also been reading Anne of Green Gables today and that is quite a delightful peice of work to enjoy on a Saturday afternoon. Did I really just say that? That seemed to come out of my mouth like anything I would say in a normal day... but normally I would not say somethign was delighful. What is wrong with me today? Have I lost my mind? Maybe the aliens have taken it over and are trying to transform me into something I'm not - a sophisticated young lady. That is definately something I probably never will be. I even suck at cooking. I can't cook really anything to save my life.

We are having hamburgers and french fries for supper in which case I'm excited, because I do really like burgers and fries. My favorite meal here however is grilled cheese sandwiches and tomato soup. You would think that amist all these great foods they give us here at bible college there would be something I would enjoy more. Something more exciting the that but no there is not. I don't have a more tastier meal and I should think that I will never have a more tastier meal. Go figure. I am speaking so weird today, for me. I don't normally speak like this... I don't know what is wrong with me. There must be some incoherant ramblings going on in my head somewhere. I don't know.

I said a long time ago that this post would come to end and yet here I am still going on and on about nothing imparticular or seemingly very important. And I really have no desire to stop as I am on a roll, but I fear that if I don't I may never stop. Do you ever get that feeling? When you just want to write and write and write and never stop? That's the feeling I am getting right now. I don't want to ever stop. But I know I must and I must do it sooner then later because like I said, if I get going on something I may never stop.

I had a weird dream last night, there was a whole bunch of students from Full Gospel Bible College and we had just finished something and were getting into these three semi-trucks which is how we had gotten to where we were in the first place. The trucks were called, Scream 1, Scream 2 and something weird that I can't remember. I remember that in the one I got in was me and Gail and some people I don't remember, but Gail was driving. We hit an intersection and there was a car on the other side, but since we were on a gravel road there wasn't room for us to continue so she abruptly turned the corner and we drove on one side of the semi's wheels for like five minutes, how I'll never knkow. And someone was like "be careful gail, I don't want to be on the ground, by the semi flipping, I have had enough experience with that" and then semi was on it's side and we were like "look we fell over" and then I woke up. And that si the end to my bizarre dream and also to the end of my incooherant ramblings in which I should have ended long ago.

See you people in crazy land later, I doubt anyone will finish reading this post because it is so long but that is okay. I don't mind, this was more for my sake then it was for anyone else's.
But now I must say farewell.
Farewell.

posted by Gavers @ 4:23 p.m. 0 Comments